Champions & Caffeine

Tomorrow night, the first game of this year's semi-finals will be played at Anfield, as Chelsea travel to Liverpool in the first-leg.

While the media have typically entered into overdrive at the thought of two European giants clashing, the rest of us remember the last six times these two sides met in the competition.

Yep, those half-dozen games yielded a mighty, erm, three goals. Just three. And Luis Garcia's "goal" back in 2005 (right) never went in!

With both managers favouring tactical battles rather than attacking football (however many times Avram Grant says otherwise), that terrible tally will probably not budge on Tuesday night.

Chelsea have been playing boring football recently-since a certain Portuguese manager drove off into the sunset (left)-and don't seem to know how to score over one goal a game.

Meanwhile, Liverpool are the masters at putting men behind the ball when they need to, and with Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres carrying the rest of the team for the whole season, nine men are put into the starting line-up just to make up the numbers!

The prize for negotiating this two-legged affair is a place in Moscow for the final in May, but what do we get for having to watch what will no doubt be a turgid game of football?

The Champions League whores itself out is sponsored by companies like Mastercard, Heineken, and Vodafone, but maybe they should take this game into account and add a new sponsor to it's arsenal: